From the Deep

Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday. It seems to be the least commercialized, and in its intent it focuses on gratitude (although some would say it majors on food and football, and I do see that perspective!). While I believe we should acknowledge our gratefulness throughout the year, I find it helpful to have a day set aside for it too. And so today, I want to say thank you to you, my readers. Whether you’ve been reading my blog for awhile or have just stumbled upon it recently, I feel grateful that you’ve taken the time to read, and in some cases respond to, what I’ve written. I’ve received an enormous amount of encouragement, inspiration, and insight from all of you, and that has given me courage to continue down my path toward coaching gifted grownups. Because of this, I have experienced profound meaning in my life, and I’ve already witnessed others setting their own brilliance free.

I have great hope for the coming year, that what began this year is just the tip of the iceberg and more will soon follow. I hope you continue this journey with me! More fun, laughter, fulfillment, understanding, and camaraderie await!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

Wow! Day 5 and my last 20 of 100 reasons I’m thankful to have gifted children. I’m having to dig deep, which is why I made this goal so high. I wanted it to be a challenge!

This time I’m considering experiences I’ve had that I otherwise wouldn’t have had if my kids hadn’t been identified as gifted. So these next 20 reasons go beyond the level of having gifted children to the richness I’ve experienced as a result of their giftedness. Here we go, reasons 81-100:

1. I met my good friend, also named Lisa, who has gifted kids too.
2. I found a niche for my life coaching–moms of gifted children–that totally juices me.
3. That niche has brought new aliveness and opportunities to my coaching.
4. I’ve met moms like me across the globe via the Internet.
5. I’ve rediscovered and re-engaged my love for math.
6. I’ve rediscovered and re-engaged my love for science.
7. I found the Friday News Feedbag, a Discovery Channel science-based podcast, which I and my children absolutely enjoy.
8. I’ve become the Official Life Coach for the Friday News Feedbag.
9. I’ve been to the Challenger Learning Center, a place built in memory of the Challenger astronauts, where kids can go to simulate space missions.
10. I’ve learned more about what makes my kids tick.
11. I’ve learned about educational testing.
12. I’ve gained some perspective on the educational testing I underwent as a child.
13. I’ve learned why I’ve sometimes felt so anxious.
14. I’ve learned that Lego offers robotics pieces, and seen my son’s enjoyment at building and programming them.
15. I’ve enjoyed the fact that, when in kindergarten, my daughter’s favorite part of being on a school break was the fact that we put Mentos in diet cola and watched the cola fly!
16. I’ve embraced my geek status…finally!
17. I’ve forgiven those who hurt me in the past because they just didn’t understand me (I didn’t understand me either!).
18. I have a unique connection with my kids because we all fall into this gifted category–we have a basis for deep trust and relationship that we can almost take for granted because we are so similar.
19. I’ve gotten to see my husband embrace his giftedness and understand himself better.
20. My kids are delightful children, and I feel so blessed that I get to mother them through life!

Just one day away to reaching Reason 100 I’m thankful I have gifted children. Can you feel the suspense? (I can. I wonder what that reason will be!) Today, reasons 61-80 (though WordPress insists on counting them 1-20):

1. My kids frequently become obsessed with certain topics, and delve into them deeply.
2. I can become obsessed with those topics with them.
3. My kids reawaken my sense of wonder and curiosity.
4. They can follow my reasoning process, and often add to it.
5. I’ve learned a lot about the educational system.
6. I’ve learned about learning styles.
7. I’ve become interested education policy.
8. My kids can make a game out of anything.
9. My kids often have free-association, non-sequitur-inspired conversations, which I love!
10. My kids don’t often take things at face value–they want to know more.
11. They have a lot of energy, which means we can do a lot in a day.
12. They are motivated by creativity, which inspires me to be creative. If they at first won’t eat something I’ve made for dinner, they’ll start chowing down if I call it “monkey brains” or “elephant tail.”
13. My son, in particular, has a really good sense of smell–he’s right now using it to ferret out whatever stinks in the refrigerator.
14. My kids most likely have a bright future ahead of them.
15. I have the privilege of often hearing from other people how wonderful my kids are.
16. I get to meet other gifted kids and enjoy their unique brand of giftedness.
17. I get to meet other gifted parents and enjoy their unique brand of giftedness!
18. I get to meet teachers, probably gifted also, who are energized by teaching such brilliant children.
19. I have the privilege of providing relief to other frustrated parents, pointing them toward the possibilities that their children are gifted and showing them where they can find support.
20. My kids now attend a school that expands their–and my–horizons.

On my continuing quest for 100 reasons I’m thankful I have gifted children–reasons 41-60 (no matter how WordPress numbers them):

1. When placed adequately, they do really well in school.
2. They have a rich emotional landscape.
3. They take me on that rich emotional journey.
4. I’m never quite sure what world the house will be each day.
5. I love the adventure of discovering what world the house will be each day!
6. They enjoy word play.
7. Their creative writing is immensely creative!
8. They can create science experiments out of anything, and often do!
9. They consider, unprompted, deep moral questions.
10. They develop unique, unexpected, yet effective solutions for their problems.
11. Brainstorming with my kids is such a rich experience!
12. They see unique patterns in things and open my eyes to those patterns.
13. They use nothing as it is originally intended to be used (a chair is never a chair–it’s a boat or an island or Pluto).
14. They have compassion on Pluto–poor, demoted dwarf planet Pluto.
15. They converse well with adults, engaging adults’ attention.
16. I’ve learned that messes can often be beautiful signs of creativity (so I don’t clean them up as often–more time for me!).
17. I’ve had to become more precise in my communication because they require that.
18. They have many possibilities for their futures.
19. They experience success on a variety of different levels in different arenas.
20. They find humor–and make humor–out of mundane situations.

I’m on my continuing quest to express gratitude for having gifted children. Reasons 21-40 (though WordPress will count them 1-20):

1. I’ve reconnected with my own giftedness.
2. I’ve learned to appreciate the challenges of my own gifted journey.
3. I’ve recognized strengths I didn’t know I had.
4. I’ve learned that some of the odd things I do and odd ways I think are because I’m gifted too.
5. I’ve experienced healing from the wounds I’ve faced because of my giftedness.
6. I’ve embraced my misfit status.
7. I’ve discovered others like me, and know why we connect.
8. I’ve developed an online social network of moms of gifted children, and experienced MOGC’s joy at discovering it.
9. I’ve met amazing moms who give their all for their kids.
10. I’ve met amazing moms who understand the challenges I face because they face them too.
11. I’ve recognized–and celebrated–the giftedness in others.
12. I’ve been able to let go of trying to make everyone else understand, now that I feel so understood by the few who really get it.
13. I have a tribe.
14. I’ve been able to encourage other moms’ struggles and point them toward information and potential solutions.
15. I’ve laughed…a lot!
16. I’ve cried…a lot! And that’s not bad–that’s life’s richness.
17. I’ve learned so many new things about giftedness.
18. My kids have engaged in some incredible experiences, and I’ve gone along for the ride.
19. I’ve begun to understand the source of my perfectionism, and to release it.
20. I’ve begun to look at aspects of myself I’ve formerly viewed as detriments and now view them as incredible assets.

Mothering gifted children is a challenging, overwhelming task, but it’s a joyful one as well. I’m grateful to have two gifted children. Since it’s close to Thanksgiving here in the USA, I’m challenging myself to, between now and Thanksgiving Day, write 20 reasons each workday why I’m thankful to have gifted kids. Would you like to take the challenge too? What makes you thankful for having gifted children? Please sumbit a comment to this post to tell me!

So <taking a deep breath> here are my first twenty reasons:

1. They make me laugh.
2. They surprise me daily.
3. They are so creative!
4. I usually only have to explain things once, and they get them (though they don’t necessarily obey me the first time I tell them to do something!).
5. They feel deeply for the less fortunate and those in trouble.
6. They think things through on a deep level.
7. They engage fully with life.
8. They teach me things.
9. They like to do puzzles with me.
10. They come up with detailed scenarios for playing.
11. They have a rich vocabulary.
12. I learn new things when they do.
13. I look at life in new ways through their eyes.
14. They make life more challenging and, therefore, more full.
15. They have a lot of energy.
16. We can have rich conversations with each other.
17. They are naturals at many things they try.
18. They can try things at difficult levels.
19. They can strategize when playing games.
20. They dream big!

Thanksgiving is right around the corner. I love this holiday! While I believe we should feel gratitude everyday, isn’t it a great reminder to have a day set aside to consider all the blessings you have to be thankful for?

At this time of my life, I’m finding myself thankful for my tribes. Www.thefreedictionary.com/tribe has this as its first definition of “tribe”: “a unit of sociopolitical organization consisting of a number of families, clans, or other groups who share a common ancestry and culture and among whom leadership is typically neither formalized nor permanent.” I’m finding tribes to be groups of people in my life who love and accept me for who I am, who call me forth to be all I’m created to be, and who allow me to do the same for them. In October, I had the privilege of spending concentrated time with one of my tribes, the WayPoint Coaching Community, at our summit in Breckenridge, Colorado. This was the first time many of us had met face-to-face, but you’d never have known it. At this summit, I was able to be my emotionally broad and deep, zany self, not only with complete abandon but with invitation! Because we all offered this to each other, I walked away from this experience knowing myself as Deeply Loved.

Sometimes the world doesn‘t understand or accept us, and when we feel misunderstood by our broader culture, it feels good to know you have a group of people who get you. As a mom of gifted children, I’ve experienced this. Many moms like me don’t feel comfortable talking about our parenting challenges with the broader parenting community. If we share our children’s successes, we feel perceived as if we’re bragging. If we express our parenting challenges, we receive eye rolls and “poor little rich child” comments. About a month ago, I listened to a radio show for moms in which the hosts discussed whether you thought your child was gifted, and if so, how you knew and whether you talked about it. To moms of gifted children, the hosts made these statements, and I quote: “Don’t talk about it,” and “Nobody wants to hear it.”

That stung, not only for myself but for all the moms I know who have gifted children. As a life coach to such women, I long to create a safe space for them to discuss their joys and challenges, to find resources, to develop relationships, and to become the full, well-rounded women they’re designed to be. So on the day of that radio broadcast, I birthed the Moms of Gifted Children tribe through ning.com. And we’re already growing! I’m excited to see how this tribe develops and what it will offer to the world, because it’s a group of powerful women! If you’re a mom of a gifted child or you know such a mom, please read the article below; it will give you details for joining our social network.

Whoever you are, do you have a tribe? If so, what value is it bringing into your life? How can you experience even more value from it? If you don’t have a tribe, do you want one? If so, what do you need in a tribe? Where can you find that?

I hope you all have people who know you deeply, who accept you for who you are, and with whom you connect. That, indeed, is a gift for which we can all give great thanks.