From the Deep

Thank God for laptops. I sit here writing this blog post amid cooking dinner, editing my son’s English essay (an assignment the teacher failed to tell me I had), assisting my daughter with her music practice, and preparing myself and my household for my impending departure to a life coaching retreat. “Wait!” I tell myself. “I want to get a blog post out before I leave!” So out comes the laptop, after the folding of three loads of laundry, the shooing my son off to football practice, and the packing of the macaroni (six different types) we had to buy this afternoon for a history project my son will complete in class tomorrow.

The beauty of multipotentiality. We see it in many of our gifted children; they can try many different activities–academics, athletics, arts, etc.–and make them look easy. They appear to be naturals at these activities. As moms, we support these endeavors by planning for them, signing our kids up for them, and chauffuering our children to and fro. This keeps us plenty busy, and challenges us to manage our children’s multipotentiality: to help them balance all their involvements, to say no to new commitments when we see them becoming overwhelmed, and to encourage them to pursue activities in which they can blossom. It’s a huge task.

Add on top of that our own multipotentiality, and the issue multiplies exponentially. Perhaps you are one of these women: you sew quilts, scrapbook, speak for local moms groups, volunteer in your kids’ classes during math time, read voraciously, head the PTO, yada, yada, yada. Say no to any one of these activities, and you feel like you’re cutting off a limb. But saying yes to everything means spreading yourself too thin, especially because multipotentiality is a sign of giftedness (yes, admit it to yourself–you’re more than likely gifted if you’re the mother of a gifted child) as is perfectionism, which means you can’t just do something, you have to–and probably can–do it flawlessly.

So how do you master your own multipotentiality? You have a few choices, which you can mix and match to fit you and your life:

1.  Accept being a Jackie-of-All-Trades. Yes, the following phrase is “Master of None,” but with this approach, you say “Who cares?” Maybe you don’t master anything, but at least you get to taste a little of everything from the buffet of life, and you’ll probably do what you do better than many others out there. Besides, we’re the type of women who do things better and more efficiently when we have a lot of things going on, and in some ways we’re happier.
2. Choose mastery. Perhaps you’d really like to master one, two, or three skills or activities. Great! Find ways to hone those skills, and dive into them. Give yourself permission to let other things go by the wayside or to let the quality of them slide a little. At least you’ll have the satisfaction of doing a few things really well (and you’ll still probably do all those other things well too).
3. Take a seasonal perspective. Focus on some activities for now, and leave others for another time in your life. What most sings to you right now? Follow your heart, and go in that direction, knowing that the time will come when you’ll get to engage in something else. Live in the moment, enjoy what you have today, and make a list of what you’d like to do tomorrow so you can still hold those dreams alive.