From the Deep

Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday. It seems to be the least commercialized, and in its intent it focuses on gratitude (although some would say it majors on food and football, and I do see that perspective!). While I believe we should acknowledge our gratefulness throughout the year, I find it helpful to have a day set aside for it too. And so today, I want to say thank you to you, my readers. Whether you’ve been reading my blog for awhile or have just stumbled upon it recently, I feel grateful that you’ve taken the time to read, and in some cases respond to, what I’ve written. I’ve received an enormous amount of encouragement, inspiration, and insight from all of you, and that has given me courage to continue down my path toward coaching gifted grownups. Because of this, I have experienced profound meaning in my life, and I’ve already witnessed others setting their own brilliance free.

I have great hope for the coming year, that what began this year is just the tip of the iceberg and more will soon follow. I hope you continue this journey with me! More fun, laughter, fulfillment, understanding, and camaraderie await!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

Wow! Day 5 and my last 20 of 100 reasons I’m thankful to have gifted children. I’m having to dig deep, which is why I made this goal so high. I wanted it to be a challenge!

This time I’m considering experiences I’ve had that I otherwise wouldn’t have had if my kids hadn’t been identified as gifted. So these next 20 reasons go beyond the level of having gifted children to the richness I’ve experienced as a result of their giftedness. Here we go, reasons 81-100:

1. I met my good friend, also named Lisa, who has gifted kids too.
2. I found a niche for my life coaching–moms of gifted children–that totally juices me.
3. That niche has brought new aliveness and opportunities to my coaching.
4. I’ve met moms like me across the globe via the Internet.
5. I’ve rediscovered and re-engaged my love for math.
6. I’ve rediscovered and re-engaged my love for science.
7. I found the Friday News Feedbag, a Discovery Channel science-based podcast, which I and my children absolutely enjoy.
8. I’ve become the Official Life Coach for the Friday News Feedbag.
9. I’ve been to the Challenger Learning Center, a place built in memory of the Challenger astronauts, where kids can go to simulate space missions.
10. I’ve learned more about what makes my kids tick.
11. I’ve learned about educational testing.
12. I’ve gained some perspective on the educational testing I underwent as a child.
13. I’ve learned why I’ve sometimes felt so anxious.
14. I’ve learned that Lego offers robotics pieces, and seen my son’s enjoyment at building and programming them.
15. I’ve enjoyed the fact that, when in kindergarten, my daughter’s favorite part of being on a school break was the fact that we put Mentos in diet cola and watched the cola fly!
16. I’ve embraced my geek status…finally!
17. I’ve forgiven those who hurt me in the past because they just didn’t understand me (I didn’t understand me either!).
18. I have a unique connection with my kids because we all fall into this gifted category–we have a basis for deep trust and relationship that we can almost take for granted because we are so similar.
19. I’ve gotten to see my husband embrace his giftedness and understand himself better.
20. My kids are delightful children, and I feel so blessed that I get to mother them through life!

Just one day away to reaching Reason 100 I’m thankful I have gifted children. Can you feel the suspense? (I can. I wonder what that reason will be!) Today, reasons 61-80 (though WordPress insists on counting them 1-20):

1. My kids frequently become obsessed with certain topics, and delve into them deeply.
2. I can become obsessed with those topics with them.
3. My kids reawaken my sense of wonder and curiosity.
4. They can follow my reasoning process, and often add to it.
5. I’ve learned a lot about the educational system.
6. I’ve learned about learning styles.
7. I’ve become interested education policy.
8. My kids can make a game out of anything.
9. My kids often have free-association, non-sequitur-inspired conversations, which I love!
10. My kids don’t often take things at face value–they want to know more.
11. They have a lot of energy, which means we can do a lot in a day.
12. They are motivated by creativity, which inspires me to be creative. If they at first won’t eat something I’ve made for dinner, they’ll start chowing down if I call it “monkey brains” or “elephant tail.”
13. My son, in particular, has a really good sense of smell–he’s right now using it to ferret out whatever stinks in the refrigerator.
14. My kids most likely have a bright future ahead of them.
15. I have the privilege of often hearing from other people how wonderful my kids are.
16. I get to meet other gifted kids and enjoy their unique brand of giftedness.
17. I get to meet other gifted parents and enjoy their unique brand of giftedness!
18. I get to meet teachers, probably gifted also, who are energized by teaching such brilliant children.
19. I have the privilege of providing relief to other frustrated parents, pointing them toward the possibilities that their children are gifted and showing them where they can find support.
20. My kids now attend a school that expands their–and my–horizons.

On my continuing quest for 100 reasons I’m thankful I have gifted children–reasons 41-60 (no matter how WordPress numbers them):

1. When placed adequately, they do really well in school.
2. They have a rich emotional landscape.
3. They take me on that rich emotional journey.
4. I’m never quite sure what world the house will be each day.
5. I love the adventure of discovering what world the house will be each day!
6. They enjoy word play.
7. Their creative writing is immensely creative!
8. They can create science experiments out of anything, and often do!
9. They consider, unprompted, deep moral questions.
10. They develop unique, unexpected, yet effective solutions for their problems.
11. Brainstorming with my kids is such a rich experience!
12. They see unique patterns in things and open my eyes to those patterns.
13. They use nothing as it is originally intended to be used (a chair is never a chair–it’s a boat or an island or Pluto).
14. They have compassion on Pluto–poor, demoted dwarf planet Pluto.
15. They converse well with adults, engaging adults’ attention.
16. I’ve learned that messes can often be beautiful signs of creativity (so I don’t clean them up as often–more time for me!).
17. I’ve had to become more precise in my communication because they require that.
18. They have many possibilities for their futures.
19. They experience success on a variety of different levels in different arenas.
20. They find humor–and make humor–out of mundane situations.

I’m on my continuing quest to express gratitude for having gifted children. Reasons 21-40 (though WordPress will count them 1-20):

1. I’ve reconnected with my own giftedness.
2. I’ve learned to appreciate the challenges of my own gifted journey.
3. I’ve recognized strengths I didn’t know I had.
4. I’ve learned that some of the odd things I do and odd ways I think are because I’m gifted too.
5. I’ve experienced healing from the wounds I’ve faced because of my giftedness.
6. I’ve embraced my misfit status.
7. I’ve discovered others like me, and know why we connect.
8. I’ve developed an online social network of moms of gifted children, and experienced MOGC’s joy at discovering it.
9. I’ve met amazing moms who give their all for their kids.
10. I’ve met amazing moms who understand the challenges I face because they face them too.
11. I’ve recognized–and celebrated–the giftedness in others.
12. I’ve been able to let go of trying to make everyone else understand, now that I feel so understood by the few who really get it.
13. I have a tribe.
14. I’ve been able to encourage other moms’ struggles and point them toward information and potential solutions.
15. I’ve laughed…a lot!
16. I’ve cried…a lot! And that’s not bad–that’s life’s richness.
17. I’ve learned so many new things about giftedness.
18. My kids have engaged in some incredible experiences, and I’ve gone along for the ride.
19. I’ve begun to understand the source of my perfectionism, and to release it.
20. I’ve begun to look at aspects of myself I’ve formerly viewed as detriments and now view them as incredible assets.

Well, best laid plans…I had intended to blog more frequently about the moments in each day for which I am most and least thankful. Nevertheless, I am blogging now! Here’s the update:

1. Most thankful: Taking a walk, feeling healthy through it (as opposed to struggling with knee and hip pain), and enjoying the beautiful, blue sky painted with wisps of cloud.
2. Least thankful: I attended a workshop today and didn’t get as much out of it as I had hoped.

Day 5

1. Most thankful: Today I had a moment where I was talking to a professor and realized I knew more than he about a certain subject. He had book knowledge; I had life knowledge.

Least thankful: Sometimes my husband makes different choices than I would when guiding our children through life, and I struggle with that. Today I had one of those moments. I wish I had expresed myself differently, and I wish I had been heard.

Day 6

1. Most thankful: I witnessed a client get in touch with a beautiful part of herself she’d only recently begun to listen to.
2. Least thankful: I had an argument with one of my children. I was trying to do the right thing, and he misinterpreted or misquoted me. I really struggle when I feel misunderstood.

Day 7

1. Most thankful: I worked with Michael Warden to create an outline for a program we’ll offer through a non-profit organization called WayPoint Coaching. The outline evolved so easily–God clearly created it through us. I’m also thankful because Michael invited me to lead the group with him–Yay, I get another opportunity to do this work I love!
2. Least thankful: My children keep interacting with each other in a harmful way, one for we’ve disciplined them over and over. I feel discouraged and wonder whether I’m parenting effectively.

1. Most thankful: I reconnected with a friend I hadn’t talked to in a long time.
2. Least thankful: I felt invisible when interacting with a group of people who mean a lot to me. I realize I need to put myself out there, but sometimes it would be nice to have people invite me into the conversation.

1. Most thankful: I had a client come to a life coaching call with one issue, but she clearly needed to process another. We took the call in that direction, and we both experienced so much life because of it!
2. Least thankful: I had an interaction with someone where I got defensive. I’m learning that I feel defensive when I perceive I’m being misunderstood.

1. Most thankful: I have a wonderful friend who is a whiz at biz! She’s helping me move my life coaching business forward, and I’m really excited about the direction and process. More about this to come!
2. Least thankful: One of my kids tested my authority. I’m so tired of being tested. Especially when I feel I’m flunking the test!

Day 11

1. Most thankful: I danced at Nia today, and it was an incredible experience of connecting with God.
2. Least thankful: See Day 7.

Day 12

1. Most thankful: We sang a new song at church today. I got to be on the Worship Team leading the learning. Everyone was so enthusiastic about the song, and I felt grateful to experience worshiping in unity.
2. Least thankful: In a class I’ve been co-leading, I gave into the Gremlin and didn’t take the risk to share myself and knowledge I have.

Day 13

1. Most thankful: I FINALLY got some ideas for a program out of my brain and into the computer. I did it in PowerPoint, which isn’t usually a way I organize my ideas, and enjoyed the process and the visual representation of my thoughts.
2. Least thankful: See Day 10.

I recently re-read a little book called Sleeping with Bread: Holding What Gives You Life by Dennis Linn, Sheila Fabricant Linn, and Matthew Linn (Mahwah, N.J.: Paulist Press, 1995). It’s a quick read about the spiritual practice of examen. In the book, they suggest performing this discipline of examining your life by asking yourself two questions every night:

1. For which moment today are you most thankful? and
2. For which moment today are you least thankful?

A few days ago, I felt challenged to undergo this practice for thirty days. I’ve decided to blog my answers to these two questions. I’ll admit it–I’m not a regular sort of person, so my blog entries may not happen every day. But I’ll catch up eventually, so thanks in advance for your patience!

Speaking of which, I have three day’s worth saved up right now, so here goes:

Day 1:

1. I’m most thankful that a friend felt safe enough to reveal more of himself to a community of mutual friends. What a gift to know someone’s heart more deeply and to experience his sense of freedom, safety, and joy at being seen and known to this level.
2. I’m least thankful for losing my cool with one of my kids. I walked away before I did or said something I’d later regret, then slammed my bedroom door so hard that I broke the door jamb off the trim, which, of course, I regretted.

Day 2:

1. I’m most thankful for a conversation with a friend in which I believe God gave me some specific direction for my daily life. I’m also thankful for some great time I got to spend playing with my kids and helping my son prepare for an upcoming test. We ended up laughing so hard my son was rolling on the floor!
2. I’m least thankful that at one point in the day, someone close to me acknowledged everyone in the room but me.

1. I’m most thankful for the opportunity I just received to create a life coaching structure for my church. I’m also thankful because a friend just called me out of the blue, and I was home to chat. That happens so rarely these days, and it brings me such joy!
2. I’m least thankful for the moment I read one friend’s e-mail. In her good heart, she meant to be helpful, but instead, I felt small.