From the Deep

I just dropped my son off at middle school. Today he begins his eighth grade year.

The “boy” I just left is much different than the boy I picked up months ago from his last day of seventh grade. Over the summer he has grown taller than I, his voice has deepened, and his face has taken on a more chiseled appearance. He is becoming a young man.

As well, these past few months we have begun discussing where he should attend high school. High school? How can I think about that? Didn’t he just begin preschool yesterday? Where has the time gone? Where has my boy gone?

Typical mother lament, I know. Even my son can quote it verbatim, and did so this morning: “I know, Mom. How have I grown so fast?” I think he had compassion on me; he didn’t even do an inner eyeroll at that one.

Not to say that life is always peachy with him. We’ve had our share of adolescent outbursts over the summer too, and I know we’ve only just begun to experience what’s coming. Perhaps this is what will help me release him when the time comes. Maybe with teenage angst on the horizon–such a tough period, but so important for our kids’ healthy development–I’ll be thankful time is fleeting. Sometimes I’ll be thankful.

For now, since high school goes by in the blink of an eye, I’m off to Target to buy toothpicks. I’ll need them for keeping my eyes open as long as I can.

What’s this? Look over here! It’s my blog! A little dusty from neglect, but sitting here stalwartly as I endure the last dregs of our unusually long summer break.

In case you haven’t yet heard my story, my kids have enjoyed a four-month-long respite from academia while builders finish construction on their brand new school building. After four years of leasing a strip mall, the school finally has its own beautiful–and big (hallelujah!)–home. Well, it will. In a few days. If everything continues to go according to schedule (oh please, God, let it go according to schedule).

I began the summer with great intentions and perspectives. I designed a summer alliance with my kids that would help us all survive and thrive. I’d strike a balance between hanging out with them and working (having let go of many work tasks such as more frequent blog posts), and they’d have lots of flexibility and freedom sprinkled with enough structure to keep us all sane. Best laid plans, as they say, but at least we had something to shoot for, and while we didn’t attain all of our goals all of the time, I feel we did pretty well overall.

For the past eight days we’ve enjoyed “stay-cation” (a vacation where you stay home and play tourist in your hometown), and now we’ve returned for the last eleven days (please, God, only eleven!) of summer break. And we’re all mentally and emotionally done. We’ve had enough summer vacation. We’re ready to push ourselves back from the table of summer break with that satisfied, full feeling.

But our chairs won’t budge.

Instead, we sit at a table covered with crumb-filled plates and pitchers of drinks drunk to the dregs. What do we do?

I shared the situation with my coach, Phyllis Mathis, in our session today, and she suggested that I just let it all go. That I, for lack of better terms, “wallow in the dregs.” And while that may sound pitiful, when she said it, I felt freed. I’ve kept myself and my kids on top of so many things over the summer, and maybe I can take a break from the vigilance and let us all relax until school starts or until my kids grow tired of the laxness, whichever comes first. Who knows…perhaps they’ll create something really inventive, being the gifted kids they are. Or maybe they too will feel the release and be better prepared in body, soul, and spirit for school to begin.

Do you have an area of your life in which you’ve done your best, you still have time left on your term, and you could benefit from letting go for your sanity’s sake? Will you indeed let go?

I give you permission to do so! Who knows what might happen if you do. After all, lookie here–I wrote a blog post!